The Dream

Sometimes our minds give us what reality may not be able to at the moment.  Last night was a prime example of living vicariously through my dreams.  I was lucky enough (if you can call a punishment lucky) to be taken in hand by Wil last night.  When I get grumpy I cuss......A LOT.  Wil had warned me several times to knock it off or there would be a price to pay when I was feeling better.  So last night, I was still feeling pretty crappy and for some reason.....Oh I remember another voting commercial came on, I was sick to death of seeing them and I told Wil to "Mute the Bitch!".  Okay so he agreed with me about the commercial but not the wording I used to describe how tired I was of having to listen to her.  So he told me, "You're lucky that you are still not feeling well because if you were you'd find yourself over my knee!"  I got a lump in the pit of my stomach from the warning but a warm fuzzy feeling because Wil was reminding me that he cares enough about me to keep me in check even when I don't feel well.  Thank you babe, it really meant a lot to me. 

So jump forward a few hours.  The World Series has ended....YEAH SF GIANTS!!!!!!
Boo, I can't go to the celebration parade on Wednesday that ends right at Wil's work because I have a stupid doctor's appointment!!!! Man I would have loved to be on the roof and watch the celebration! How cool would that have been. Hopefully I can convince Wil to run up and get some pictures for me.  PLEASE????

Anyway enough ranting back to the post.  So the game is over, the celebrations have been watched and I am feeling pretty good.  I'm not standing well yet, still get dizzy, but I am feeling strong and fairly normal.  Well, being the loving husband that he is, Wil asks me.  "How are you feeling?"  Um, stupid me still being caught up in the World Series celebration says, "Pretty Good!"  How dumb was that?  So Wil looks at me, gets that evil look that says, "You're in for it." and tells me to head to the bedroom.  "What?  Did I say I was feeling good, uh really.  I don't feel that great!!!"  Guess that didn't work because all I heard was, "NOW!"

Okay, so I really was feeling good enough for a "discussion" about my cussing but a girl has to try right?  I did as I was told and followed Wil to our bedroom.  "I told you I wasn't going to back down about your cussing....Get over here."
Sigh.  Guess he called me on this one.  So I removed my clothes and laid over his lap.  Can I say that it felt wonderful to be there.  Well at least until he began the punishment.  The warm up told me I was not going to enjoy this at all.  He was serious, his tone was serious and each swat told me that this was serious.  "I didn't marry a sailor."  Wil lectured, "I married a woman and I expect you to talk like one!"  Wil went straight from the hand warm up to Godzilla, the dreaded wooden spoon.  I hate that spoon!  And worse yet he kept striking with it in the same place over and over.....OW!!! (I know it's suppose to hurt!)

The punishment continued and my bottom grew more and more tender.  He finished off with ten strikes from the dreaded new olive wood cutting board.  That was all it took, my mouth will behave for quite some time.  I stood up and apologized and we laid down in our bed for the evening.  How wonderful to fall asleep in the arms of the man who loves you enough to take you in hand and then hold you with such strength and passion after wards.  So like always after a spanking I fell asleep feeling safe, loved and cared for and that's when the night got really good!

It was one of those dreams where you aren't sure if it's really happening or not.  It seemed so real that I was sure it wasn't a dream.  So here's how it went.
When the dream starts Wil and I were sitting in our living room and he is offering to go get coffee for us.  We love our AM/PM's coffee, it's great tasting, has a lot of different flavors to choose from, they have decaf and it's actually really inexpensive.  During the winter we usually go there 2-3 times a week for coffee.  The cashier their knows us really well and always makes comments about how did we enjoy our coffee last night, or where have we been it's been a few days, etc..   So in my dream Wil wants to go and get us some coffee.  I didn't want him to.  I had been there the day before to buy a coke and cheese itz and I had lied to Wil about going there when he asked if I had eaten at home or spent any money. (Okay quit groaning at me, it was a dream!!! I hadn't really lied.)

So Wil asks me, "Do you want me to get you a coffee I am going to go get one?"  I find myself starting to panic.  If he goes and gets a coffee and our normal cashier is there she may say something about me being there the day before. 

"I really don't feel like coffee tonight babe, you don't have to go if you don't want to."  I answer trying to get him to change his mind. 

"No I'm going to go so do you want one or not?"

"Yeah, pick me up a small one."  I answer dreading what may happen.

The next scene in my dream Wil is walking up to pay for the coffee and our cashier is there.  "Well hello stranger." she says to Wil.  "Where have you been all week.  I've only seen your wife. Should you pick her up some cheese itz?" she asks Wil, "Hers are probably gone by now."

"Janet's been in this week?" Wil asks the cashier.

"Yeah, she was here yesterday for her coke and cheese itz.  She's such a crack up, she always says how happy she is now that she has gotten her coke for the day." (can you say busted?)

"Are you sure it was yesterday?"  Wil asks the cashier.

"Yeah, yesterday was the first day I worked this week.  I was surprised to see her here without you."

In my dream I see the "look" on Wil's face the one that says I am totally in trouble.  In the next scene I see a very angry Wil driving home.  He pulls into the driveway and pretty much slams on the brakes when he parks the car.  I know from how he pulled in that I am in big trouble.

"GET IN THE BEDROOM!"  Was all I heard as Wil came through the front door.  Funny there was no Jedi to put out, no daughter to worry about, just a very angry HOH to contend with.  I didn't make a sound.  I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was beyond mad and I wasn't going to argue.  I headed for the bedroom followed by Wil.  I could feel the apprehension in the pit of my stomach as I headed towards our room.

"Go sit in the corner and don't move!  I will be back to deal with you when I have calmed down!"  Wil said slamming our bedroom door shut.  I moved to the corner and sat down.  I was completely intimidated by Wil's mood.  I had only seen him that angry once before and I knew what was coming. 

It seemed like hours before I heard Wil coming down the hall toward our bedroom.  The door opened and the first thing he said to me was, "I am VERY disappointed in you!"  My heart sunk.  Nothing hurts worse then hearing those words. 

"Why didn't you tell me you bought a coke and crackers yesterday?"

"I didn't want to disappoint you.  I knew you'd be mad that I didn't call and ask permission and I've been trying so hard to follow the rules that I didn't want you to know I screwed up.  I'm sorry."  I explained.

"Oh you are going to be sorry!"  Wil shot back at me. "You know how I feel about being lied to.  That is something we do not do in this relationship!  All you had to do was tell me yesterday when I asked you that you had bought a coke and some cheese itz and it would have been dealt with but now instead of just disobeying my wishes you have lied to me!"

I didn't know what to say.  I looked down and refused to meet his eyes.  I didn't want to see the disappointment in them. 

"You know what to do." Wil said as he headed towards the implement box to choose what he would use for the punishment.  I did what I was told.  I removed my pants and panties and waited for Wil to sit down on the bed for a warm up over his knee.  That didn't happen.  Instead he simply laid me over the side of the bed, picked up Godzilla and set into a punishment rhythm that I had never felt before.  Each strike seemed to land in the exact same spot and when I didn't think I could take anymore he lifted up each buttock to reveal the tender spot where they met my thighs and continued his assault.  I couldn't take it anymore I had to get away from the assault on my thighs.  I rolled into a ball and refused to move.

"Turn back over."  Wil demanded.  I simply remained in my ball.  I had never felt a punishment so severe and I wasn't sure I could take it.  "Lay flat now!" he demanded again.  And again I refused to move.  I heard Wil open the implement box and take out the restraints.  "Fine if you don't want to cooperate then I will make you cooperate!"  Wil said as he placed a restraint on each arm and on my ankles.  I wanted to fight him.  I wanted to not let him continue but I knew that if I did he would only grow more angry so I allowed the restraints to be put on and I laid back flat on the bed so that he could connect them to the chains that he keeps attached to the legs of the bed. 

"I was hoping that after lying to me at least you would have laid still for your punishment but you wouldn't so now on top of the lying you will be punished for not remaining in position as well.  Do you understand me?" 

I struggled to get out a "Yes Sir."  as Wil began in with Godzilla once again.  He was relentless, each strike with the spoon left a searing burn on my thighs and there was nothing I could do to avoid the strikes.  I had been fully restrained and there was no way to move to avoid any of what he was giving me.  After what seemed forever with Godzilla Wil finally stopped.  I was so glad that it was over.  I didn't think that I could take much more.  What I didn't realize was that he was simply changing implements.  Next came the Loopy Johnny.  Over and over again he struck the same burning area on my thighs with a stinging application of the Loopy.  I wanted to jump up and run away, I wanted to beg him to stop but I couldn't move Wil had seen to that with the restraints he had place me in and I was too proud to beg.  I didn't want him to know how badly this was hurting.  I simply laid there biting my blanket and hoping that he would be done soon.  Once he was done with the Loopy Johnny he took a break, probably more for him then for me and lectured some more.

"You really had to lie to me?  It was a coke and some crackers, you couldn't have just told me the truth?  How am I suppose to trust you now?  If you will lie about something as trivial as junk food how can I believe you when I ask you about something important?"

The lecture was worse then any spanking could be.  I had lied to him and it was about something stupid.  He was right.  I couldn't face the fact that I had lost his trust all over a bag of cheese itz and a diet coke.  What had I been thinking.  I was so disappointed in myself, probably more disappointed then Wil was with me.  I didn't know what to say.  There were no words I could come up with that would make it okay so I remained silent.

"You really don't have anything to say?  Are you really not sorry you lied to me at all?"  That was the last straw.  I was hurting, I was upset and now I was being accused of not even caring when the whole thing was eating me up inside.  I don't know where it came from but I just lost it and yelled back at Wil.

"What the hell is your problem?  I said I was sorry! I am sorry but you won't take sorry for an answer.  What do you want me to do beg for your forgiveness.  Well I won't do it!!!  You can't make me!!!!"  Uh, what I didn't realize is in the position I was in he could very easily make me and that is exactly what he set out to do.  Taking his paddle "The Screamer"  Wil laid into my butt with a fury I had never felt.  "Yes I can make you! You want me to make you beg?  Is that what it's going to take to get through to you?  Fine I will make you beg.  By the time I am done here you will be doing more then begging for my forgiveness do you understand me?"

I couldn't talk.  I had never seen this side of my husband.  He was angry with me and letting me know it but he was still well in control of his emotions.  Each strike with the screamer was applied enough to hurt more then I had ever felt it hurt but not to do any damage.  Each lecture he gave me was designed to let me know how angry he was and how let down he felt by my actions.  It didn't take long before I felt something I had never felt before.  Tears were welling up in my eyes.  I tried to fight it.  I wouldn't cry.  I didn't want him to know how badly emotionally and physically I was hurting.  But I couldn't help it.  The first sob came out and I couldn't stop.  I found myself apologizing in between the tears.  I found myself begging for him to forgive me for lying to him.  I found myself pleading for him to stop the assault on my bottom.  He stopped when I asked and laid the screamer down next to me.  He reached out and rubbed my shoulder as my tears continued and with a warmth and love that I hadn't heard that entire evening he told me what I didn't want to hear. 

"Okay," he said, "We are almost done here.  But we will finish on my terms not yours.  You will receive twenty with the rod then we will be done.  I want you to count them out.  Do you understand me?"

"Y-ye-s  S-s-ir."  I mumbled.  I couldn't believe he was going to continue even after I had begged him to stop.  Yet something about the warmth in his voice made me sure I could get through whatever he asked me to.  I wanted to be brave for him and show him that I loved him enough to do what he wanted and make him proud of me again.  Lost in my own thoughts I was surprised to feel the first strike with the rod.  "Ow!" I whimpered. 

"That's one." Wil reminded me.

"Sorry.....one." I counted out.  Two through fifteen went okay.  I counted and was able to deal with each strike.  Fifteen through twenty were almost unbearable.  I remember in my dream wondering if this were real.  If it would ever end.  I needed it to end yet I couldn't make it stop.  I remember thinking to myself then that there was no way this was a dream because if it was I would be able to end it.  And true to reality the twentieth strike with the rod was the most painful strike I had ever felt.  It is Wil's trademark the last strike is always the most intense.  I counted "Twenty."  for the last time and the tears began again.  I had never before cried during a spanking so this was new territory for me.  I couldn't stop, even as I felt Wil remove the restraints and tell me to stand up and apologize I couldn't stop crying.  Yet it felt good.  It was cleansing to let it all out.  And as I looked up into Wil's eyes and swore to him that I would never lie again the tears continued. 

The last thing I remember in the dream is Wil taking me into his arms and holding me.  He told me it may take some time but he would trust me again and he was glad this was all behind us now.  He said it was alright to cry and I leaned into his chest and cried more.  I remember feeling a little panicky that he wouldn't trust me again and I wanted it to be over.  Luckily the next thing I remember is waking up and looking at Wil sound asleep beside me.  Thank God it was a dream!  I thought to myself....then I thought something else.  Wow, what if that had been real?  How would I really have reacted to a punishment like that?  How would it have really felt and would I have finally broken through the barrier that keeps me from crying?  How intense would my feelings towards Wil as an HOH be if he actually stood up to me that powerfully.  Well like they say a girl can dream can't she????